I'm going to jail i love you
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize