your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
