Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
