She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
