So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
