arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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