I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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