he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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