I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
