READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
