i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize