ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
