bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's blow job season.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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