tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
