Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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