You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
