You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
