I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
