Swine flu. Run for my life!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
