Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
