i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
