he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
