I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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