i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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