I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
