this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
my poor anus
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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