I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
