so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Screwed.edu
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
