I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
