Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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