so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
