apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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