brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
