I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize