That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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