So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
