Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
high people should be assigned attendants
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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