john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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