My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
