So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
