I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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