Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
