are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Randomize
