I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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