dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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