no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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