how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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