ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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