Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
