He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
