Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
