haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize