I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize