im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
