Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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