I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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