is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
