Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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