doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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