I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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