Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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