I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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