Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
