just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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